And now...?

I have reached that point where I have no idea what to do. About anything. In a way I can not believe that I really broke up with him. I miss Sam so much already. Every part of me wants to be with him. I just can't play that middle ground. It's too hard. It's hard to explain what I feel inside and my thought process about it. It just wasn't us. So I had to end it; at least for now. I just wish I could see inside his head.

Had a dream last night where he wrote me a letter. I don't really remember what was in the letter, but it was really long, that's for sure. I wish I could remember.

I wish we could just work things out. We're both such emotionally sensitive people... It's not easy. I don't think he wants to. He probably thinks I don't care. Or that I hate him. Or that our relationship meant nothing.

If that's the case... I don't know. He couldn't be more wrong.

I guess that if things are meant to work out they will. I'm not going to bug him about it because that seems to always be my problem. I never shut up. Ha ha I hope that we get to talk about everything. I just want to wipe away the last 3 months and start with a clean slate.

Because I need him. In my life. I love him.

Stupid life, why must you be so difficult?